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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28338750">The Love Club</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/slyyywriting/pseuds/slyyywriting'>slyyywriting</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captain America (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Mob, Bathroom Sex, F/M, Fingering, Locker Room Sex, Making Out in a kitchen aka health code violation, Mentions of Blood, Mild Noncon, Mildly Dubious Consent, Semi-Public Sex, Sexual Tension While Cleaning Somebody Wound, So much smirking from background characters, Stabbing, Suffocating Via Plastic Bag, Vaginal Penetration, choking during sex, oral sex (female receiving), sexual asphyxiation, vanilla sex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:15:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>17,780</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28338750</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/slyyywriting/pseuds/slyyywriting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky gets initiated into the mob life by accident. He falls for the mob's boss but their lifestyle doesn't match anymore. He wants out but only the owner can revoke his club membership.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Reader is a Mob Boss and Bucky is an Underground Cage Fighter. This will be in two parts because my attention span is only good for 2k words lol.  Happy end of the year! Enjoy, loves!</p><p>Chapter Warning: dubious consent (finger action)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He had enough of this shit.</p><p>It was him who broke out sweat for these fights. It was him who bled for these fights. It was him who had to recover from these fights and it was egregious that someone else was earning all the money that should be in his pockets.</p><p>Bucky Barnes, seven time cage match champion of the Brooklyn Underground, has had enough.</p><p>It was bad that he was paid only when he won fights. It was worse when he found out that his manager, who often acted like his owner, earned seventy percent of the winnings all the while sitting in the side lines and drinking liquor. Bucky had to get all his money. Talking to the guy was not enough. Brock Rumlow had laughed him off.</p><p>
  <em>You’re nothing without me and this club. You’d be lifting boxes out in the ports if it weren’t for me. You’re paying me as thanks for takin’ you in, kid.</em>
</p><p>The man had spat into his face, insulting him. Enough.</p><p>The plan was simple. Bucky knew that Rumlow was out of his office on Thursday nights for meetings with other club owners and mafiosos. Bucky also knew where Rumlow kept all of his cash—inside a safe behind a painting of the Archangel Michael, God’s greatest soldier. So all he had to do was break into the office, take his money and disappear from the scene, out of sight.</p><p>The lock on the door jiggles as Bucky picks it, tongue darting out in concentration. As it clicks open, he looks around the empty hallways before quietly pushing the heavy wood. He crouches as he does, on instinct making his footsteps lighter, not noticing that the usually dim room was well lit at this time of the night. Just as Bucky closes the door shut and turns around to face Rumlow’s desk, a muffled sound of a gun wisps in the room.</p><p>With a gasp, Bucky witnesses you shoot his boss in the chest in close range immediately killing the man where he sat. You turn your face to look at the intruder, the men around you pointing their weapons at him.</p><p>“What do we have here, huh?” you raise a sharp brow.</p><p>“I—I—I didn’t see anything, ma’am.” Bucky stutters as he instinctively backs up towards the door, unwillingly cornering himself.</p><p>A low chuckle comes from your glossy rouged lips and you take in the man before you.</p><p>“You’re that cage beast old Brock here was talkin’ ‘bout! Ain’t that right?” you snap your fingers as you try to remember his name. “Barry!”</p><p>“Bucky—“he corrects and he winces. That little habit of his correcting people has got to stop.</p><p>“—Bucky. Of course, my apologies.” You chuckle again and tap your gun to your chest as if to show how sorry you were. “Look here, Bucko. Rumlow here, he deserved to get shot. He’s a dirty little thief who stole from everybody. In fact, I’m pretty sure he stole from you too.”</p><p>You tuck your gun on your holster as you sit in front of the desk to face him, taking a cigarette to your lips and lighting it up. Your calm demeanour scared Bucky like never before because he knew you had the capacity to end his life at any moment. You had the upper hand here. He knows this because he’s the same during his matches, a calm above the brewing violence ready to be unleashed from within.</p><p>You take a long drag of the cigarette and puff out a cloud of smoke. You smirk at him.</p><p>“You’re a smart guy, I bet you don’t want to die right now.” You point a finger at him. He nods too quickly as a response. “Good. Help Rogers wrap little Brock here with that carpet and dispose of his body. Report to me afterwards and then I’ll decide what to do with you.”</p><p>You move towards the door and Bucky steps aside to let you pass. You look at the blonde man you were with, telling him he knows what to do before disappearing outside the doors. The blonde, Rogers as he was referred to, instructs Bucky to lift the dead man’s legs.</p><p>Under the pale moonlight, Bucky finds himself digging a shallow grave for the man who cheated him out of thousands of dollars with a man he barely knew. his hands are sore and tender from shoveling frozen dirt but his mind drifts back to you. You were notorious for being heartless, for leaving no loose ends.</p><p>"Stop thinkin' and just dig, pal." The blonde, Rogers, huffs out in the middle of the silence. "The sooner you accept you're in deep shit, the easier your passin's gonna be."</p><p>Bucky chuckles bitterly, bile starting to rise up in his throat. Fresh snow was falling on the ground. It was peaceful. Maybe he could use this as the last thing he remembers instead of the barrel of a gun.</p><p>Six weeks have passed since the night he had dug someone else’s grave. And in that six weeks, Bucky hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep. Every night he was sent to your office, like a marking of his attendance in this godforsaken lifestyle he had chosen, and every night you would look at him in a smirk, that was down right sexy if he weren’t so fucking terrified, and you’d say the same thing.</p><p>“I don’t know what to do with you yet, Bucko. Maybe I’ll kill you tomorrow.” Then you would entwine your fingers, place your hand under your chin, and lean on them with a smile of dismissal.</p><p>The weeks rolled by but Bucky found himself being picked up by Steve Rogers early in the morning. The man had given him his own three-piece suit, tossed to his face as soon as he opened the door. He’d get dressed and they would go all around New York City collecting money and day-drinking in spots he’d only dreamt of accessing.</p><p>Bucky learned to do whatever Steve did, drink whatever Steve offered and hold a man down whenever Steve had to beat them up. He could even say he had grown fond of the blonde, again, if he weren’t so fucking terrified of dying at any given day now.</p><p>Tonight though, Bucky decided that he needed to sleep. If it was going to be in his own bed or in a shallow grave, it did not matter as long as he got it. So, at the moment, as he mentally prepares for his death, he breathes deeply as he knocks on your office. Your voice echoes from behind and he turns the knob, hand slightly shaking.</p><p>“Mr. Barnes, good to see you’re still alive. Heard you helped Mr. Rogers today with the Aleppo collection.” you greet him nonchalantly as you keep your eyes on the six monitors on the wall. “Good on you to have initiative, not a lot—”</p><p>“Just fuckin’ kill me already.” Bucky blurts out, voice in a baritone. He was exhausted. He needed a break. “Get it over with, lady.”</p><p>His heart is hammering at his chest and sweat is starting to take over his hairline. He had finally said it. With a squeeze of his eyes he awaits the welcome sound of a gunshot. Any moment now.</p><p>Instead, he hears your roaring laughter from behind the desk. He opens his eyes and sees you clutching your chest, face full of mirth, neck flushed from laughing too hard. You wheeze before clearing your throat.</p><p>“Did that feel good now that you’ve gotten it out of your chest, sweetie?” you chuckle, wiping stray tears from your eyes. “God, you are as adorable as Rogers sold you to be.”</p><p>“Follow me.” You wave to him as you open a side door and disappear in a dimly lit corridor. Bucky follows the echoing of your heels on the floor, confusion evident at your reaction.</p><p>As the corridor ends, another door opens as you push it, revealing a private locker room. You pick out fighting shorts off of the hangers and hand it to him.</p><p>“You want your life back? You’re gonna have to earn it back.” You tell him as you toss him the shorts then point to the monitor above the lockers lining the wall. “You’re fighting Branagh tonight—you win, you’re free but you will continue to fight under my club. You lose, I slit your throat myself. But as to when I’ll do it, it will be my decision.”</p><p>You wink at him before disappearing again through the door to the fight club. Bucky scrambles to change out of his suit.</p><p>The match lasts two minutes and forty five seconds from the moment the bell rang. Bucky had knocked out Branagh with a knee to the nose. He was in the middle of getting dressed in the locker room when you walked in. His prosthetic arm glitters under the dull florescent light and the scars on his shoulder visible.</p><p>“You just made me three hundred and eighty <em>thousand </em>dollars in under three minutes, Mr. Barnes.” You purr at him. “No man has ever made me this happy and satisfied in such a short amount of time.”</p><p>Bucky smirks at the entendre, zipping up his pants as he looks back to you. You were leaning on the door, one leg bent and propped up, both hands behind your back. You were smiling all the while biting your bottom lip. His pants twitch at the sight of you.</p><p>“You promised I’d be free if I won.” He smirks as he picks up his shirt from bench. You hum in agreement, tucking your chin to your chest. “Do I have your word?”</p><p>“Of course you do. Cross my heart,” you walk up to him, take the shirt and place it behind you, ”and hope to die.”</p><p>Your face was now mere inches from him, challenging him to do something about his stolen shirt now that his freedom has been restored. Bucky eyes contain a storm in them, calibrating what his next move should be. He still hasn’t come down from the high of winning the match even with weeks out of preparation. The next thing he knows is how your lips were soft and hot against his own.</p><p>The kiss was searing. His was from weeks of frustration from not being able to tell whether he was to live another day. Yours was from the lust that clouded your head the moment he walked in on you killing another man. He was a beast in the cage and the way he looked at you every night, like a lost puppy ignited the fire in your flesh.</p><p>His hands roamed everywhere, calloused from his occupation but soft to the touch. You fumble for his pants but his fingers were faster as they hike your dress up and shove his fingers into your pulsing cunt. Your breath gets knocked out of you as two fingers invade your insides. Your hands hold on to his biceps as he slowly guides you back to the door.</p><p>“You’ve been playin’ with me doll. Maybe I should return the favor?” He whispers into your ear before licking your earlobe and jaw. He curls his fingers and you can just countdown the exact moment your legs turned jelly.</p><p>You’re grunting turns into a moan when he places his palm right into your throbbing clit and you squeeze his biceps harder. Glittery nails digging into his muscled flesh.</p><p>“Please—Bucky, I’m—“ you manage to beg as you gasp for air.</p><p>“Oh, you’re beggin’ me now, dollface?” he presses his palm harder and presses his crotch on your hip, the hardness evident. “How ‘bout that?”</p><p>He pumps his fingers hard as your legs buckle beneath you. You bite into his bare shoulder as a reprieve from the fire between your legs. You’re almost there. Almost—</p><p>And then he pulls his fingers out, a trail of slick following them as Bucky raises his fingers into the light. You’re drooling on his skin as you gulp air but he pushes your chest away from him to pin you on the door. His prosthetic hand crawls up to your neck and he holds you by the jaw.</p><p>He places his slick filled fingers inside his mouth and shows off sucking on them when you make eye contact with him, chest still heaving hard as your pussy clenches at the sight of his tongue lapping your essence. When he’s done he kisses you again, tongue fucking your mouth with your own taste.</p><p>“Maybe I’ll fuck you tomorrow, sweetness. I haven’t decided yet.” He finally lets you go and you sag bit by bit against the door. “I work for you now, right? You know where to find me.”<br/><br/></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Bucky officially gets inducted into the mob life.<br/>Warning: smut, oral (female receiving), bathroom sex (vaginal penetration, creampie)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is just smut because I don't know lol. So I added another chapter so that their story gets an actual problem and conclusion. Enjoy, loves!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bucky must have lost his damned mind.</p><p>He can’t believe he just did that to you. The residue of the desperation he had while he was in the cage was evidently still on him when you came inside the locker room. For weeks he had not been in control of his own life and winning the fight gave him a semblance of that loss. Then, then there you were looking like sin that he wanted to commit to. He just wanted a taste and he got it.</p><p>As he shuffles his way out of your club, hurriedly walking past people who worked for you, ignoring all their congratulations, the weight of his sins ebb slowly in his mind. He just violated you! Plus he challenged you instead of apologizing. Surely a bounty was about to be put on his head and he had to get away from the club for now.</p><p>That night he slept in his bath tub in case you sent people to his house. He didn’t want to die while making a mess of his bedroom. His mom still visited him weekly and his sister cleaned his room in exchange for her allowance for college. Being in the tub made sense; it was practical.</p><p>Morning came as death never did. Or at least until he answered the person who was banging on his door this early. He stumbled downstairs, half asleep and grumpy. He opens the front door, wiping his stubbled face with his flesh hand, eyes half opened in the morning sun.</p><p>“Good morning, Mr. Barnes.” Your voice turns his blood cold, instincts telling him to slam the door shut. Your pointed stiletto boot jams the door before it closes. “We’ve got unfinished business from last night.” You push the door open and he backs up near the stairs in the narrow entranceway. Your leopard fur coat enveloped you completely, only your thigh high leather boots peeking out.</p><p>“Ma’am—I, last night was a mistake.” Bucky stutters and you raise an eyebrow, scanning the house not even bigger than your own room. “I shouldn’t have done that; shouldn’t have said <em>any </em>of that. It was the adrenaline and the—the—“</p><p>Bucky stops talking as you start to untie your coat and drop it on the floor. You were wearing the faintest hint of lingerie, he thinks. You were wearing black lace that covered nothing of your most intimate parts. Bucky gulps as he sees the most covered part of you were underneath the leather boots.</p><p>With a long, manicured finger, you push on his chest and back him up into the nearest wall. As soon as his back hits the wallpaper, you crawl two fingers up his chest then cup his chin with you palm. You smile at him like a feral cat.</p><p>“Two things: one, I own you now. <em>Never </em>forget that, Barnes. Two, <em>you </em>don’t leave me unsatisfied. Or I will kill you.” You squeeze his cheeks and his lips pucker out. “Am I making myself clear?” He nods, breathing through his nose. He has never felt terrified yet so turned on in his entire life. His morning wood has grown exponentially painful under his sweatpants. “Good. Now kneel and offer yourself to me. As a congratulations for winning last night’s match.”</p><p><br/>Bucky’s throat bobs at the instruction, finding his mouth salivating just at the mere thought of submitting to you. Slowly, you lower your hand on his shoulder pushing him down without much effort, for him to kneel. Bucky’s hands find your hips as he lowers himself, all the while maintaining eye contact. His thumb rubs small circles in your pelvis as his face aligns with your mound. The look he gives you, looking up at you as if in reverence, sends a shiver through your body. That alone was enough to cause dampness in your lace panties.</p><p>He places a kiss on one side of your hip, then the other. Eyes still on you and you start breathing heavy. He kisses the center of your mound, small pecks at first, before he goes lower. You widen your stance when his hands transfer to your thighs, pulling them apart and open.</p><p>“I am yours…” he says as he swipes your panties to the side and licks a stripe of your wetness. “To use…” another lick, this slower as if he was trying to savour you. “To do with as you please…” then a lick to your clitoris which causes you to grab a handful of his hair.</p><p>“No talking,” you manage to hiss as he continues to lick you up with his wonderful tongue. He hums into your sex and it sends a vibration through your legs causing you to bite your lip. “Mmm—do that again.”</p><p>And he does but this time your moan escapes your lips. You chuckle as he grabs the hem of your panties and rolls them down your legs, taking a good long sniff of them when they’re off before throwing it over his shoulder. He lifts your right leg and places it over his shoulder, eyes becoming more primal when he sees your pussy glistening before him. He looks up again seeing you touch yourself, playing with your nipples, seeking out pleasure. He returns to where he gets to taste you and sucks on your bud.</p><p>As your hold on his hair becomes tighter, he inserts two fingers inside of you just like he did before. Only now he intends to make you gush on them and satisfy you until he ruins you.</p><p>“Ahh—that’s it Barnes, faster.” You whine at the insertion and he takes your instruction to heart. The squelching noises you were making as he pushes in and out of you was a sound he wanted to record and listen to all day. “Fuck—yes, yes.” You hiss again as you clench around his fingers. He pulls out just to add another and a moan breaks out of you accompanied by a dizzying flush that has you keening towards him.</p><p>As your orgasm escapes, Bucky pulls his fingers out but continues to lick you up, slurping the juices that you produced. When you’ve gained your bearings, you grab his arms and pull him up. His chin still glistening from your essence and that delectable stubble he maintained just perfectly.</p><p>“Am I forgiven?” He asks rather cheekily as he pulls you to him closer, arms wrapped around your waist. You run your hands in his hair and push them away from his face, pouting as you do.</p><p>“You haven’t fucked me yet. Don’t get cocky.” You boop his nose with your finger and pout some more.</p><p>“Oh, I intend to, ma’am.” Bucky grinds his erection against you with a smirk and leans in for a kiss. You dodge him and he ends up in the crook of your neck which he automatically sucks on.</p><p>“Grab my coat, I’m not going to be fucked in this rat infested house. I prefer my bed, actually.” And with that you pull off him and head to the front door. Bucky picks up your coat and assists you into it before opening creaky door. “Maybe we’ll get started in the car.” You smirk at him and take the steps down into the street.</p><p>The next year became a blur. In between being the top mixed fighter in the underground and being your lover, his schedule was packed. When he wasn’t training intensely, he was fucking you. And when he wasn’t fucking you, you were fucking him. You were insatiable and he wasn’t about to complain. Sex with you was always amazing, no matter where or when.</p><p>“Come on, dollface. You gonna cum for me or what?” he whispers in your ear as he pounds into you from behind. His pants are around his ankles and the hem of his dress shirt hung around his slicked up cock. His metal hand was on your shoulder while the other was bruisingly clutching your hip.</p><p>Your reflection on the mirror was worth sneaking out from the Mayor’s gala. Both of you were getting bored by the niceties and you thought you could be doing better things than smiling at crooked politicians and members of law enforcement. Your once perfectly made up face was now smeared as your eyes watered earlier from taking his cock to the back of your throat.</p><p>Fucking your esophagus was nice but Bucky always preferred your pussy. It always fit perfectly around him; wet, hot and tight. Plus the noises you made whenever he slid in and out of you makes him harder with each thrust.</p><p>“Fuuuuck—baby, don’t stop. I’m almost—“ you pant and moan and reach for his ass cheek behind you. Bucky’s flesh hand slaps the mirror in front of you and you cover it with your own hand. He spreads his fingers and you slot yours in his, holding onto each other as his thrusts hit you harder. “Argh! Fuck, yes—argh—“</p><p>“You like it when I fuck you hard like this? Huh?!” he grits through his teeth and bite your earlobe. You make eye contact in the mirror and you smile at him your Cheshire grin, nodding. At that moment you squeeze around his cock and a heaviness in your abdomen begins to wind up even tighter. “Yeah, you do. Come for me, baby. I can feel you gripping me, c’mon.”</p><p>And with that your release erupts with a small scream, making you lean forward towards the sink, back bending even better for Bucky’s access. He reaches out and rubs a finger into your trembling clit to prolong your pleasure. When you relax in his hold he pulls out and turns you to face him.</p><p>He kisses you, tongue invading your mouth and lifts you onto the sink.</p><p>“I’m going to cum inside you then we’ll head out there,” he says as he breaks the kiss and pushes himself inside once more. “Where you’re going to be leaking my cream onto your thighs and onto the shoes of those dirty old bastards.”</p><p>He thrusts, quick and shallow into you again as you pull him closer. “Yes—fuck, okay.” You babble almost incoherently from the pace he was set on. When his thrusts become sloppier and deeper, you know that he’s close. “Give it to me, Buck. Fill me up.”</p><p>He grabs your thighs and pulls you right off the sink’s edge and just as he does it sends him over and you feel the spurts of his cum paint your walls. You cup the back of his head and pull him towards your chest, waiting for his come down. When he kisses your neck and makes a trail up to your face you smile at him.</p><p>He had been nothing but a blessing to you ever since he literally put his finger in your business. Things were going well and there was nothing that could stop you now. Not with Bucky on your side.</p><p>“I would love for you to fuck me some more,” you peck his swollen lips, “but I would like to donate some money into our community now.” And then another.</p><p>“Of course, my favorite philanthropist.” He returns the kiss in kind before he helps you off and down the sink. “We can blow your money then you can blow me when we get home.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Bucky asks the important question but he doesn't like the answer.<br/>Warning: slight sexy times but no smut, violence/depiction of someone getting beat up, cunnilingus, cheating (kinda because according to the character it doesn't count), the "L" word</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know I said it would be three parts but I added another one because *whispers* i can do whatever i want. I swear every time I try to write an ending it just stretches out because new ideas swerve off. This is just a short chapter for the New Year~ Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bucky is enjoying a mango margarita as he soaks in the Dominican sun. His skin glistens under the sun not bothering to wear anything while inside the property.</p><p>You were yelling at someone inside the house and this is followed by the sound of glass shattering. Whoever it was you were scolding is already dead so he returns his custom Gucci shades over his eyes and returns to basking in tropical weather.</p><p>The glass door slides open and the familiar step of your heels clacks on the poolside. The sound itself enticing as he remembers the way your hips sway when you walk and how your thighs jiggle with every stride. His uncovered dick was starting to twitch as you near him.</p><p>The sun is suddenly blocked as you climb on top of him to straddle his thighs. He chuckles and lets go of his glass to hold you by your hips. The bikini you wore did nothing to cover your parts, might as well have been naked like he was.</p><p>“I have news for you, baby.” You start as you position your core on top of his still sleeping member. But with the way you were sitting on him, he knew it wouldn’t be long before his junior woke the hell up. He hums and you continue the news, “I have found another fighter to represent the club!”</p><p>“What?” this time he sits up, making you slide down his undressed cock. The friction had made him hard unintentionally. “Are you firing me?”</p><p>You cackle at his ridiculousness. “Firstly, no, Sir, I am not because you’re not my employee. Not anymore anyways. Secondly, I’m doing this for us.” You brush his hair away from his face and take his sunglasses for you to wear. “I’m retiring you so you can spend more time with me. Your training time is taking away our date nights and sexy times.”</p><p>You grind on his cock and Bucky grunts at the pressure, pressing his fingers deeper into your hips. You place several kisses into his jaw line until you can feel him relax again.</p><p>“Is it because I’m old?” He hums as you continue to pepper him with wet nibbles.</p><p>“No, it’s because you’re my most valuable possession and I don’t want you hurt.”</p><p>“Possession?” He pulls back to look at your face with a raised brow. You roll your eyes at him.</p><p>“You know what I mean.”</p><p>“I love you and I would do anything for you. You only need to ask.” He responds, bumping his nose with yours and a smile that could launch a thousand ships if he wished to. You only answer him with your tongue in his mouth.</p><p>When you return to New York there was a giant mess that needed to be cleaned up. You were gone for a week and somehow other clubs had thought it was cute to steal your costumers and highest paying patrons. You took Bucky’s advice and started using your hands to get rid of people, it took a lot more effort and your nails had never looked in such a state of disarray but somehow it made you feel better.</p><p>Feeling the life leave someone’s body as you squeezed their last breath was more satisfying than shooting them. Guns were warm but feeling necks snapping made you giddy like Christmas morning every single time.</p><p>However, the shift of power was tipped too much against your favor. Some clubs had even become bold enough to tip the police and have your warehouses raided for unlicensed liquor. What does it matter if your rum was made in the Dominican Republic with added ingredients not approved by the government? The more important part was how to remind these assholes who was the Kingpin of fuckin’ New York.</p><p>That’s how you ended up in your office with some Romanian gangster’s son between your legs. His father had tasked him to seduce you as a test whether you had gone soft. You haven’t been fooling around with anyone since you had Bucky on retainer, haven’t even joined the bimonthly orgies organized by your friends. Everyone thought that the easiest way to topple your empire was through Bucky, your deemed weak link. If you had refused Nicholas everyone would know how dick drunk Bucky had gotten you and probably would have dangled him to your face for favors and threats. Well, not today. Or ever for that matter.</p><p>Your exaggerated moans filled your office as this guy tried to pleasure you. You were clenching your eyes shut to drown him out, imagining it was Bucky down there in your slit. But it was hard to concentrate when this guy was trying to write sonnets in your pussy in all caps. You were barely wet from your own slick so when he inserted two fingers in there suddenly, you almost yelped in pain.</p><p>He didn’t feel right. His tongue was speaking a foreign language that you had no plan to understand. His fingers weren’t the right fit and feel, they were too soft when they pass through your folds. Not unlike—</p><p>Bucky.</p><p>He pushes your doors open quiet forcefully and stumbles inside. Your eyes meet for mere seconds before he lunges towards whatever his name was. In a split second, the cold air hits your exposed pussy as the guy ends up on his back between Bucky’s feet.</p><p>One knee pins guy down as Bucky assaults his with his fists and elbows. For the first minute he was able to raise his hands to defend himself but after successive hits to his nose and eye sockets, the guy stops moving entirely. Even his chest that heaved profusely had stopped moving. Bucky rises to his feet, breathing heavily as his anger had not dissipated yet. What the fuck was going on? You were wiping your pussy with a moist towel out of nowhere, not really concerned at the act of violence that took place.</p><p>“Are you alright? Why didn’t you stop him from touching you?” Bucky inquires, adjusting his clothing, suddenly disheveled. You shrug as you throw the towel into a bin. “Were you—was he?”</p><p>“Oh, fuck no! He’s not anyone of import. He’s actually less than nothing to me.” You position yourself in front of the small oval mirror on the wall and check your makeup.</p><p>Your nonchalance snaps something inside him.</p><p>“I’m not fucking doing this anymore, doll.” Bucky seethes as he sets his fists beside him. “I’m leaving you.”</p><p>“Alright, I’ll see you later at home then.” You brush him off but he shouts to your surprise.</p><p>“I just killed someone for you! To defend your honor! And you’re just standing there reapplying your lipstick?” that makes you turn around.</p><p>“Don’t be so dramatic, Buck. You know how much pressure I have to look perfect always. Like I said, don’t worry about him, he was just trying to close a deal, which is now cancelled by the way. So thank you for that.” You tut and return to fixing yourself.</p><p>“I can’t continue living like this. The buying and selling of arms and ammunition, I get. The shady deals, even more so. But killing without remorse? My, my soul gets shredded into pieces every time you shoot someone! And the fact that you do it all smiling while you pull the trigger? I can’t do this anymore!” Bucky sighs, rubbing his face with both palms, sinking down into your office’s couch.</p><p>“I get it, you’re upset because I use weapons. That’s rich coming from someone who quiet literally kills people with their fists! I’ll just my hands next time, baby boy. If that makes you happy.”</p><p>“That’s not—There are rules in the cage and I have never intended to kill anyone in a fight.” You pat his cheek and fix your dress, inserting yourself between his legs. “I know, I know. I’ve upset you and I apologize. I’ll get someone to clean this up. Dinner? I’m in the mood for lobster…”</p><p>“Do you even love me?” Bucky suddenly sputters the question as he turn to press your buzzer for assistance. You wince, not expecting it at all. Do you?</p><p>“I—uhh, I…”</p><p>“Because I have been telling you openly for the last six months how I love you and how deeply I’m <em>in love</em> with you, and all you have is a pressed smirk to show. I get it, you’re not used to saying it but this is me we’re talking about here—“</p><p>“Barnes, you <em>know </em>how I feel about you. I mean, you wouldn’t have lasted this long with me if you didn’t. You’ve been in my arm for like what? Eight months now?”</p><p>“Twenty-two months but who’s counting—“he mutters.</p><p>You scoff, that number doesn’t seem correct at all. He’s clearly exaggerating to drive his point home. You reach for his hands and clasp them with yours. “Barnes... Bucky—<em>baby</em>, why do you want me to tell you those useless words when I show you everyday, huh?”</p><p>You unclasp your hands and crawl them up his chest just like how you know he likes. Bucky shudders out a breath at your action and you smirk at the victory. You continue to touch him until your hands wraps around his neck, you apply a little bit of force as you squeeze him. He closes his eyes, getting gradually lost in the building delight.</p><p>Bucky shakes his head, willing himself out of your seduction tactics. You always shut him up with passionate making out sessions followed by even more flamed love making. You had done it multiple times whenever he confessed to having loved you, never orally acknowledging his statement. The only oral confirmation he received that you had heard him was his throbbing member some inches down your throat.</p><p>He grabs your wrists to stop you from enamoring him any further.</p><p>“I need you to tell me, to say it to me. Do you love me?” his eyes could almost pierce whole into your soul as he stared at you expectantly, longingly, desperately.</p><p>“I—“ your eyes wavered. You couldn’t say it. Bucky sighs and pulls your hands away from him. He stands from where he was seated as you try to find a way to circumvent his question but still answer him in the way he wanted to hear.</p><p>A sudden panic arises when you see him gathering his things around the office: a framed photo of him and you together with his mother and sister in front of the Rockefeller Christmas tree, and that stupid vintage baseball signed by Derek Jeter.</p><p>“Barnes! You can’t leave! I <em>own </em>you!”The last straw was when he removed his signet ring and placed it on the table before leaving the room without even looking back. “You belong to the club and you always will! You’ll come back.”</p><p>He was angry, at himself for having been a fool. For believing that there was more to the constant pleasures, something skin-deep and not just the call of lust. That the power of being with you was more because of your profound connection to one another rather than of the imminent danger that your mere presence exuded. But more importantly, he was disappointed that you couldn’t even answer him properly without lying through your teeth.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Bucky has left. You find a divine opening to get him back.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello! This took mad long to update. As a form of an apology, I added another chapter to end it. Bucky deserves more.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You could just replace him. Easy. Done.</p><p>You’ve been saying that to yourself for half a year now and yet your bed remained cold while remnants of Bucky stayed where he left them in your home. You could get rid of all the reminders of him, yet you wouldn’t. Part of you was angry at the betrayal, the other part wishing to crawl to him and ask him to come back. Until all the parts agreed what you really wanted, his stuff stays. It didn’t matter much, you were barely home and you wouldn’t be around mulling over fragments of him in your life.</p><p>You’d expected Bucky to come crawling back. Even after all this time there was still a little bit of hope inside your hollow chest that he would come knocking on your door in the middle of the night, telling you how sorry he was for leaving, how stupid it was for him to go back to the life he had before you. You’d make him beg you to take him back of course. Maybe rough him up a bit then make him confess his love for you all over again.</p><p>That stupid word. What a fucking waste of breath.</p><p>Love was for children. What you had was something more profound. It was an understanding between two adults who wanted the same things and wanted to be in the same space. He was yours.</p><p>“Boss?” Steve calls out to you as you catch yourself just staring at some random guy kneeling before you.</p><p>“What did this one do again?” You ask Steve, trying to appear nonchalant, like you just didn’t space out seconds before. However, Steve doesn’t get the chance to answer before you put a bullet between the man’s eyes.</p><p>“You were only supposed to wound him, boss. He wanted in, used to be an accountant for Giannis’.” Steve drops his hand and the man’s body slumps with a thud on the concrete.</p><p>“A bullet to the head causes a wound, Rogers. Now, what’s next on the schedule?” you hand him the gun and step over the man towards the exit.</p><p>“It’s Sunday morning.” Your step stutters and you groan loudly.</p><p>Sunday mornings meant you had to show up to a church in Bed-Stuy, a promise to the assigned priest who practically raised you. You get inside the church last just as the homily starts and exit the church first just as the priest finishes offering the mass. As one of the nuns who stopped you outside finish reporting for repairs and upkeep needed for the old building, you spot a familiar brunette in the crowd exiting the grounds. You turn swiftly and try to get to your car as fast as possible when your name gets called.</p><p>“Sweetheart is that you?” the voice calls out and your skin produces goose bumps. With a wince, you turn back around and plaster a smile on your face. “I’d know the owner of those shoes anywhere. Hello, dear!”</p><p>“How are you, Mrs. Barnes? Good morning.” You greet her back but stay standing at a distance, eyes wary at the crowd behind her.</p><p>“Didn’t see you inside! In fact I haven’t seen you in a while. You finally realized you were too good for my James?” she quips with her signature smirk, the same one her son has when he thinks he’s funny too. You interlock your hands and place them in front of you, shaking your head.</p><p>Bucky’s mother sighs and places both her hands on her hips. You’d think that after you and her son had cut each other out of your lives you’d cease trying to please her but that’s not happening this time. You walk towards her, chin tucked into your chest and avoiding her eyes, stopping just in front of her. Suddenly, her arms are around you, hands running up and down your back.</p><p>“I don’t know what happened between you two and I don’t want to pry about the details.” She continues to comfort you for some reason until you return the hug. When she finally relents, she cradles your face with her right hand and rubs your arm with her left. ”Just know that you can still come to my house for dinner and can still call me ‘Winnie’.”</p><p>“I’ll drive you home, Ma’am.” You clear your throat and try to smile again at her. You gesture to your parked Wraith behind and offer your arm.</p><p>“Oh, I’m not going home yet, sweetheart. Do you mind driving me down to the shelter? I’m on Sunday duty.” She takes your arm and pats your hand. You answer her with a confirmation as she leans on you.</p><p>The whole car ride was spent with Winifred updating you in all things you’ve missed since your breakup. She talked like there was nothing wrong with the world, like there was nothing wrong with your relationship with her son; like there was nothing wrong with you. She had always accepted you as who you were in front of her and not what the gossip mill had churned. From where she sat, she turns to you and gives you that motherly smile that unfailingly managed to melt the ice in your veins.</p><p>Finally she points at a building and you slow the car down to a stop. As she opens her door you rush to her side and help her out. Before you could bid her a farewell she pulls you into the building for a drink and a tour. And that’s how you found yourself with a juicebox in one hand and Winnie’s hand in the other.</p><p>“We’d love to accommodate more people in here but we’re stuck to using the ground and second floor only since all the upper floors are dangerous to occupy, them being run down and all…” she leads you to a large room that used to be a gymnasium and found it filled with makeshift cots for homeless people to use. “We just want to make sure none of these people are left outside once winter kicks in.”</p><p>She sighs and pats your hand, giving you a look of dismay and surrender. As the tour concluded she walks you out of the building again to your car.</p><p>“Winnie?” you call her name as you looked around the neighborhood warily. So far no signs of other gangs or mob members were present, leaving the building and its people truly abandoned. Mrs. Barnes looks to you with the same eyes as her son’s. “Maybe—no not maybe, definitely. I can definitely help out with your problems. I’ll send someone over later and you can tell them to get you everything you need.”</p><p>“Really, sweetheart?” her eyes crinkle in delight and she almost jumps on you with a hug.</p><p>“Yes, really. I know how harsh New York winters are first hand.” You return her hug sincerely. “List them all down and we’ll get them for you. Hell, let’s fix this whole building before it falls over our heads.”</p><p>She chuckles as she releases you. With the final pat on your cheek you finally walk back to your car, barely catching the familiar figure that just walked up the street. With a press of your horn, you speed away from Winnie and her charity project.</p><p>“Ma? What are you doing out here?” Bucky calls out to his mom as he spots her on the sidewalk.</p><p>“Oh, James, you’re here. I just got back from Sunday service—hello, Celine.” Winnie greets her son like she was just caught doing something she shouldn’t be before shifting her attention to the woman next to him then dropping the whole thing completely. “Let’s go inside, lots of work to do.”</p><p>“Did someone drop you off, Winnie?” she stops on her tracks and plasters a smile at the woman next to her son. A recent substitute to a love lost but soon to be returned, she was sure of it, so she exhales and smiles.</p><p>“Yes, a good friend. Almost a daughter, in fact!” she announces before going ahead inside.</p><p>Celine’s eyebrows rise at the woman’s words before seeking clarification from James. He just shrugs and ushers her inside the doors. However, Bucky looks back at the now empty street with a creeping feeling at the back of his mind. The car that just sped off was too familiar and too close for comfort.</p><p>Bucky could feel a shift in the air. And it was not just because it began snowing earlier in the week. It was not even the below freezing temperatures that turned Brooklyn into a powder covered playground. No. Bucky knew that something bigger, more powerful was afoot. As luck would have it, Bucky knew where that something was coming from and he didn’t like how he knew.</p><p>A new routine had taken over your schedule then.</p><p>Mondays you rested because you didn’t want to be part of the world like that. Tuesdays and Wednesdays were reserved for your legitimate businesses and public appearances. Thursdays and Fridays were fight nights so you spent the day overseeing the collections or nursing a hangover, then at night you were present ring side in a sparkly revealing outfit and a bored expression on your face. Saturdays you spent sinning like it was your last day on earth. Then on Sundays, you were conniving on Sundays.</p><p>Sure. Fine! You were also conniving every day of the week but Sunday? Sunday was reserved for the most elaborate con you would ever pull.</p><p>Sunday morning you were at church to attend the 8am mass. You dressed modestly in neutral colors, arms and legs covered, heels two inches shorter and barely in any jewelry. You would sit next to Winnie Barnes for the entirety of the mass and when it was done, the word of the Lord offered, flock of sheep sent out into the world to spread it, you would stay behind to talk to the priest and the other mothers. Niceties are exchanged, air kisses blown, hands shook and hugs embraced, then you would insist on driving sweet Mrs. Barnes to wherever she wanted to go.</p><p>You’d ditched the two door coups for now and switched to an SUV. You wanted her comfortable as she updated you with her life and talked your ear off about recipes you should try. And then when you pull up to where she wanted to be dropped off, the shelter you were currently renovating and funding, she’d insist you stay around for a bit and see what your money was being used for. You’d pretend to hesitate at first, pretending that you didn’t want to be a bother but hinting at how it would be uncomfortable if you ran into her son, she’d tut and drag you inside. You pretended for three Sundays at that. On the fourth, you had already brought spare clothes and work shoes.</p><p>Sunday was like a campaign. You were introduced to people in the shelter by Winnie, listened to their woes and offered them solutions—money, jobs, recommendation letters and direct phone calls. By the time you rolled up on a late fifth Sunday morning, you were welcomed by a hoard of excited locals as if the Queen of England pulled up. You had everyone in the palm of your hand. Which meant Sunday was getting extended to a weekday. One where a certain blue eyed man who got away was scheduled to appear.</p><p>You visited the next Tuesday, a catering van in tow and a document in hand. The plan is finally setting in.</p><p>“Darling girl! What a lovely surprise.” Winnie greets you with a warm hug as soon as you enter the lobby. You respond in kind with a giddy chuckle. The woman across the small foldable plastic table who was obviously speaking with her gives a skeptical smile. “What brings you here today?”</p><p>“I brought some reinforcement. Heard snow was going to finally fall today which means people will be cold.” You gesture to the catering service to set up in the mess hall, one hand still holding Winnie’s. “Thought everybody might need something to warm them up.”</p><p>She coos at your thoughtfulness and thanks you for it. Winnie cups your face and smiles at you fondly when someone clears their throat beside her. You turn and find the woman extending a hand out to you. You push everything down within you so you won’t slap her hand away.</p><p>“How you doin’? I’m Cece.” You know and struggle not to roll your eyes at her. “I’d just like to finally thank you personally for everything you’ve done for the shelter and the people here.”</p><p>“No need! It’s my pleasure.” You step toward her and shake her hand, giving her your name too. It was hard to pretend you knew nothing about this… girl. How you managed not to grab her by her hair and drag her out onto the street so she can kiss traffic was beyond you. Maybe because Tuesdays were meant for professional transactions?</p><p>Maybe.</p><p>Besides, she was included in your grand plan and alienating her this early in the game would only set you back. So you smile as sincere as you could. Be as warm as you could pretend to be. It was a necessity.</p><p>You exchange more pleasantries up until Winifred excuses herself to tend to volunteers. Work in the shelter was never over and everyone went off into different directions for their own tasks.</p><p>Your task? Outwardly it was to catch up with the kids upstairs and update you with their schooling. You managed to grant each kid a scholarship to private schools in exchange that they stay out of trouble by staying inside the building premises during their free time instead of on the streets. It was good to build up a network with the young ones and you looked like a fucking saint.</p><p>Bucky was running up the stairs looking for his mother. The shelter had been busy ever since his Ma had brought in a sponsor to help out with everything. What started as a side project for him now took over almost his whole week, running errands and hauling donations. He was stopping by before his shift at the bistro uptown to accompany Winnie to the doctor’s. She’d been complaining albeit in passing about shortness of breath and he wanted to be sure she was not overworking herself.</p><p>What he found upstairs in the makeshift reading/study room was someone he has been trying to avoid and forget.</p><p>You were laughing. Head thrown back in unfiltered delight. Dressed in plain clothes for the cold weather. Your laughter reverberates through every bone in his body, a sound he had tried his hardest to push down deep and kept away. He stops by the doors, entranced at how relaxed you looked around the kids, giggling and entertaining every question or statement thrown your way.</p><p>Someone waves at him when gets spotted. “Hey, James!” Lucas, a kid who Bucky was quite fond of, smart and sweet, came from a complicated family calls his attention and introduces you to him. “Have you guys met? She’s getting us computers to use in here!”</p><p>You look his way, your face withdrawing to a more controlled expression when you meet his eyes, smile almost fading off. The two of you continue to stare at one another as a flurry erupts again when the kids and teenagers all hound Bucky with the good news. He nods and smiles, acknowledging them but never steering away from your face.</p><p>When the excitement finally slows down to a quiet thrum, Bucky grabs you by the arm and drags you to one of the rooms being renovated, strongly asking people to give you privacy for a bit.</p><p>As soon as the last person exits the door, he explodes in your face. “What the fuck are you doin’ here?” The hand on your upper arm grips you tighter, swaying on your feet as he shakes you in anger.</p><p>You smile at him, as innocent as a shark that smelled a droplet of blood in the ocean. When he asks you again, pain radiates on your arm, you answer with a pout. “What? I can’t help out my community?”</p><p>The batting of your lashes would have fooled him had he not been with you for as long as he had. “Stop playin’! Are you stalkin’ me now? I told you we’re over—you have to stop. You can’t control me anymore.”</p><p>“Bucky… c’mon.” you dip your chin and stare at him wide eyed. When he doesn’t relent with his grip on you, you grab his wrist and yank it back. All the while with a glint in your eye, half daring him to do something, half wishing he’d just let up. “Relax, Barnes. I’m here on your mother’s behest. And you know for a fact that that woman is the only mother figure I have ever had in my crazy life. Which means I’m still inclined to wanting to please her—on top of all my outstanding issues.”</p><p>You chuckle when he pulls his wrist back. You place your hands on your hips, challenging him. You always took pleasure at riling him up. There was something real sexy about an angry Bucky and by the gods he looked like sin just right about now as he fumed at you.</p><p>“She caught me at church and asked me for some help. What do you want me t’do? Deny her aid in front of God when I know that I was more than capable to do so?” You tease him. You knew he knew that you made sense. So he just rolled his eyes and huffed.</p><p>A thick finger gets pointed at your face closely. “I swear to God if she finds out where you actually get your money from, I will personally end you.”</p><p>“Please, Barnes. We both know I wouldn’t do anything to hurt that woman.” You swat his hand away from your grill. It was your turn to roll your eyes.</p><p>The air was thick. You knew there were a couple of things on his tongue that he wanted to unleash upon you. He almost did if only he was not interrupted by the woman in topic.</p><p>“Sweetheart! There you are!” She eyes you and his red-faced son, flitting back and forth between you but swallowed her questions down to grab your hand. “There are people downstairs from city hall, something about papers?”</p><p>You nod and tell her you’d handle it. You hear Bucky scoff and see him making a threatening face when you look back at him. You brush him off and usher Winnie downstairs, Bucky following right behind.</p><p>When you get to the now warm lobby, you greet the people you had invited down from the mayor’s office. You shake the government employees’ hands and introduce Winnie as well. After pleasantries were made, you smiled at Winnie, almost giddy with excitement.</p><p>“Winnie!” You take her hands and sway them side to side, smiling at her almost breathlessly. “They’re here for you and your papers.”</p><p>She looks at you at confusion, looking to her son for confirmation. Bucky stays stoic, almost scared of how your brain was working at the moment.</p><p>A woman steps forward and produces a folder of documents. “Congratulations Mrs. Winnifred Barnes. All you need to do is sign on the documents and the shelter will be officially under your care.”</p><p>“What?” She clarifies and looks to you.</p><p>“They’re naming the whole building and operation after you, Win!” You tell her, excited now that you see her face trying to process everything. “This whole place? It’s going to be the Winifred Barnes Brooklyn Center! Just like you always wanted.”</p><p>“What?!”</p><p>Winnie stutters. Not really believing what was happening. When you continue to tell her that it was really happening, she envelopes you in a hug. She yelps in joy again as the woman tells her that she just has to sign and the name would stick. She quickly scribbles her name on the papers and signs them, all the while with her hands shaking. When the process was done, you lead her outside so she could see the sign being attached to the building.</p><p>As his mother get distracted by all the excitement of having her name in a marquee, Bucky steps up next to you, feelings all in a mix. “I don’t know what your game is but I don’t like it one bit.”</p><p>His biting tone does nothing to phase you. You were smiling brightly while you watched on your future mother-in-law tell people the great news. You insert both hands in your pockets, relaxed as your plans snowball nearer into completion.</p><p>“I don’t give a fuck if you like them or not, baby. This is not just about your happiness anymore.” You look up at him with a grin as he scowls at you.</p><p>You don’t wait for his reply as you run and celebrate with his beloved mother, taking photos with the staff and kids now occupying the sidewalk. The set up was perfect. Even Bucky thought so as he sees the woman who raised him crying happy tears in your arms.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Bucky is feeling a lot of things. Who was it that said that the line between love and hate was thin, again?</p><p>Warnings: kissing lol, ex-lovers being petty, stabbing, mentions of blood, suffocation via plastic bag (I am sorry), lingering touches</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Apologies for the uber delayed update. BUT! Guess who finally has a weekend to just fuck around? Also it was my birthday on the first. I'm officially a year older. Does this mean I have to have my shit together? Probably not.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bucky woke up too warm on a Wednesday morning.</p><p>Despite the winter happening on full blast outside his bedroom window, his room was toasty warm. He stretches on the bed, arms and legs extending into his full length, joints cracking with the motion.</p><p>He went home late last night, getting an extra shift at the upscale restaurant to pay for his mother’s medical appointments. Without medical insurance they were egregiously expensive, the medicine they needed even more so. To cut expenses and look after Winifred, he’d asked her if he could move back in to the house he’d grew up. But with everything that was to be paid for, he needed a third job if he wanted to afford living in the house.</p><p>Bucky throws both his legs off the bed and sits up with a huff. The smell of food downstairs had managed to make its way inside his room. His mother must be making breakfast. A good way to wake up always.</p><p>After a quick trip to the bathroom he heads downstairs only to hear his mother laughing mirthfully. The smile on his face quickly fades when a stranger passes him at the bottom of the stairs carrying a ladder.</p><p>“Watch out, pal.” The man tells him before moving to the living room. Curiosity makes Bucky follow the man only to find more men, handymen, all over his mother’s house busy painting and repairing various areas.</p><p>Without taking his eyes off the strangers, he calls for his mother.</p><p>“Ma?!”</p><p>“Oh, good he’s awake.” Winnie chuckles into her mug before taking a sip, winking at you. “Kitchen, James!” she answers him, yelling back and shaking her head. “I betcha he’s surprised.”</p><p>“Maybe I should just go, Winnie…” you place your coffee on the kitchen table and push your chair back. “You know he doesn’t like having me—“</p><p>Bucky enters the kitchen just as you were halfway up from your seat. “Ma, what’s with all the men—you!” he stops by the entrance with a groan. “Get out of my house!”</p><p>“It’s still my house, James. I’m not dead yet.”</p><p>Bucky scowls at his mother’s comment but doesn’t look away from you. You muttered an apology to his mom and started gathering your things when she places a hand on your arm to stop you.</p><p>“I invited you here and you will not be leaving until I throw you out myself.” Winifred tells you with a look that made you stop completely, pliant even. She then points to her grown son, “James Buchanan Barnes, you are not to talk to my guest in that manner. Now, sit your ass on that chair!”</p><p>Bucky was about to protest but with a squint from the woman who raised him, he scowls even deeper and takes the seat across yours. He continues to scowl at you while you stare back with a pout.</p><p>“Stop that! You better fix that face, son.” Winnie smacks him upside the head after placing a plate of waffles on the table. Bucky mutters an apology this time, rubbing the spot. When the table is filled with food, she sits at the head and extends her hands out, palms up. “Let’s say grace.”</p><p>You both look at her, a silent protest, not wanting to hold your ex’s hand. When she tuts, Bucky waves his hand to you to offer it to him. When you fail to react, he grabs it off the table and yanks it up, gripping your hand like a vice. With all your hands entwined, Winnie starts to say a prayer.</p><p>Breakfast was weird to say the least. His mother wasn’t talking to him for the entirety of it, except when she reprimanded him for chewing too loud or too fast. He’d chuckle bitterly and down the contents of his mouth with the hot coffee. All the while, he glared at you from across the table while you smiled warmly at his mother.</p><p>Annoyed, he slams the mug on the table. “Why the hell are you here?” Your smiling façade finally cracks as you turn to look at him. His mother calls out his name but he ignores it. “Huh? What the hell are you doin’ here?”</p><p>“It’s okay Winnie. I knew this would happen.” You place your hand on top of his mother’s, rubbing circles on her wrist, looking all apologetic. Bucky scoffs. Like hell if you’ve ever been sorry for anything in your life. “I was just helping Winnie with repairs to her house. She’s been so preoccupied with the shelter and its repairs that she forgot the house wasn’t prepared for winter. I just came by to see if the repairmen arrived today.”</p><p>“They’re here. Now get out.” Bucky crosses his arms and sits back, nodding to the door’s direction.</p><p>“James!” Winnie gasped at her son’s behavior.</p><p>“It’s okay, Win. He’s right, I’ll get out of your hair. I’ll pick you up on Sunday for church?” The old Barnes nods apologetically and stands with you, giving you a tight hug.</p><p>“Great! I’ll walk ya out.” Bucky stands up as well and heads to the front door without you, opening it and gesturing exaggeratedly to the outside. When you reach your car, you weren’t expecting him to follow you down. Or even grab at you for that matter.</p><p>“I told you I don’t like the game you’re trynna play here, doll. Leave my mother out of this.” He threatens you through gritted teeth. But you only cock your head to the side and smirk at him.</p><p>“And I told you I just want to please Winnie to appease my mommy issues. Are you really mad I’m tryin’ to take care of her?” you grab his wrist and squeeze as tight as you could, the metal cold against your flesh. “Or are you mad it’s not you who I care for anymore?”</p><p>His hold on you relents and you release his wrist as well. You fix your coat and blow him a kiss before getting in your car and driving away.</p><p>Were you right? Or did he know better?</p><p>---</p><p>“Hey, James?” Bucky was staring into the inside of his locker for way too long, not even finished with buttoning up his uniform when Celine’s voice startles him.</p><p>“Yeah, what’s up?” She gives him an empathetic smile from the door and approaches him to help with his shirt. She fixes his collar and reaches to cup his face.</p><p>“You okay?” he nods, closing his eyes to take in the warmth of her palms. “Good because a party of fifteen just walked in and we’re needed out there.”</p><p>Bucky nods again and gives her a soft kiss. She mumbles a protest into his lips but eventually gives into a moan as he nips on them. They’ve been taking things slow, keeping their relationship low key. He liked how Celine blushed when he kissed her and how flustered she gets with simple gestures as having his hand on her knee.</p><p>She was the calm he needed after his past tumultuous love affair. Sure she had a lot of hard no’s when it came to sex and they’ve only done it missionary so far, and it always had to be on a bed with the lights off but hey, at least he was sure she wasn’t getting sloppy toppies from Ukranians when he wasn’t around.</p><p>When the kiss ends, he tells her he’d be right out. She leaves ahead while Bucky runs his hands through his hair and reaches for his apron. He missed having money and working for fun. He’d thought of going back to fight in the clubs but the last he’d heard, you owned all the clubs now. Which meant that any fight he would sign up for would have your money.</p><p>He slams his locker close, exhaling in what he thought was not defeat. He’s working an honest living now, Bucky thought. And this was better than being a club’s pet.</p><p>The kitchen was chaotic when he entered it. The service crew were scrambling to accommodate the party that just arrived. When he passed by the counter, the maître d instructed him to take the table near the back’s orders. Bucky could’ve have sworn there was a glint of fear in his eyes when he said it but brushed it off.</p><p>When he enters the dining area, there was an eerie hush all over. Diners were sitting straighter, barely moving and speaking in quiet tones. The nearer he got to the new arrivals’ table he understood why the atmosphere was the way it was.</p><p>Mobsters.</p><p>Dressed to the nines, lounging around like they owned the place. They were talking and laughing amongst themselves, banter that could be mistaken as jovial to anyone who listens and turns a blind eye. But Bucky knew better.</p><p>These people could be talking about pulling someone’s guts out, blowing someone’s brains into the floor or even beating someone to death and they could still enjoy a full meal without so much as flinching or losing their appetite.</p><p>He would know. He once had been part of that dinner conversations. Goons he worked with used to congratulate him for every bloody knuckle he garnered, every body he swung down on and every opponent he knocked out.</p><p>He knows.</p><p>He knows because at the head of that table sat the most feared person in the city. The most blood thirsty entrepreneur in New York sat at the table he was supposed to wait on in a twenty thousand dollar dress that covered almost nothing in her body. Bucky knows because he used to look into those eyes and feel reverence in the most unexplainable manner even when those hands were drenched in the blood of enemies.</p><p>Bucky knows because right at this moment he kinda misses it. The banter, the confidence of being part of something bigger than himself, the sense of freedom that comes with unbridled power. He misses that.</p><p>He misses living with no consequences while your scent envelopes him. He misses being told how strong and important he is while you shower him with kisses. He misses how easy things were with you in his arms.</p><p>Bucky shakes his head to clear the thought away. He made the conscious decision of turning away from that life. He was a changed man. He <em>is </em>a changed man.</p><p>So he takes a deep breath and exhales slowly through his nose before picking up his order sheet and heading towards his old coworkers.</p><p>The noise doesn’t die down even when he clears his throat and asks the table if they were ready with their options. No one acknowledged him until a familiar blonde turned to really look at him.</p><p>“Barnes? Whoa!” the blonde beams up at him, sitting at ease with his legs spread wide as if he owned the place. “You got rid of your man bun?”</p><p>“I did.” Bucky chuckles. Was it out of nervousness? He doesn’t know but the way his former errand partner grinned made him more self-aware. “I see you copied my beard, Rogers.”</p><p>Steve runs his hands on his well-kept beard, still grinning at Bucky up until the latter repeats his earlier question. “Are you ready to order?”</p><p>Steve clears his throat before looking around the table. Everyone was now staring at Bucky. At least until Steve snapped his fingers at everyone and started telling the brunette his dinner choice. Then the usual loudness returned and Bucky could start breathing again.</p><p>When he finished going around the long table to take everyone’s order, the only left to ask was you. Eyes, all of different colors and shapes are now trying hard not to stare at him and their boss. Bodies pretending to be doing something else while their ears were focused on something entirely different.</p><p>Bucky clears his throat twice, eyes trying to look anywhere else but at the woman in front of him. “Are you ready to order?” His voice wavers a bit for some reason. Again, Bucky asks himself, was he nervous?</p><p>“Ma’am.”</p><p>“Huh?” he asks dumbly and Steve snorts from across the table before covering his smirking mouth with a fist.</p><p>“’Are you ready to order, <em>Ma’am</em>’.” You clarify as you scan the menu before looking up at him in all seriousness. He looks around the table and each person there was trying to avoid eye contact with him. Bucky feels almost helpless.</p><p>Right. Power dynamics. He reminds himself before correcting his previous question. You stare back at him as you place the menu back on the table.</p><p>“Just two fingers of whiskey on the rocks, sweetheart.” You answer him with a dismissing wave of your hand.</p><p>Bucky swallows hard and smiles before nodding, heading back to the kitchen to pass on orders. This was going to be a long night.</p><p>The kitchen goes into full hyper mode once Bucky rings all the orders. Your table was the priority. He chuckles to himself realizing how different it was to be on the other side. He knew people bowed down in your presence but to actually see it behind the scenes, Bucky’s heart swells in remnants of pride from before.</p><p>As the night went deeper, you’re sitting on the head of the table all relaxed from all the whiskey that Bucky was serving you. After the second glass, you were meeting his hand halfway, not waiting for the glass to hit the surface, grabbing it midair. It was getting hard to control your expressions every time your fingertips touch his, a smile threatening with every whispered ‘thank you’.</p><p>As Bucky delivers your sixth glass of the night, expecting another brush with the hands of the man who used to make you insane—he still does, ruined you completely for anyone else—he grasps your soft palm against his and lowers his lips to your ear.</p><p>“You should eat something. Anything, please.” Lips barely an inch away from your skin, from a spot that he used to play with for his and your pleasure. Your name sounded like a hark rolling off his tongue.</p><p>You shake your head, trying to remain composed at the sudden action. You can’t look surprised or pleased, no. <em>You </em>were in control of this whole show. Not James Barnes and his sultry baritone and pink luscious lips. No, not at all.</p><p>You take the glass with your free hand and lean back on your seat, freeing his hold on you. You see him look at Steve, your right hand man raising his glass of liquor as if to tell Bucky ‘I told you so’. You purse your lips at the blonde before downing your whole glass.</p><p>Bucky returns to the kitchen gnawing at his thumb in worry. The atmosphere in the restaurant has been different since you sat down. There was something afoot.</p><p>“You okay there, James?” He looks up and sees Celine looking at him with curiosity, maybe worry. He smiles briefly, telling her he was just tired. She nods and points to outside. “Did you know she was dating Steve Rogers the mobster? Is that why she’s loaded?”</p><p>Eyebrows raise to the ceiling as Bucky processes what she was saying. Celine was unaware that you were the one running the whole operation and Steve was your enforcer. Of course she’d think that, along with almost everyone in Brooklyn. A scowl takes over Bucky’s face at the thought of you not being credited for all your hard work.</p><p>“It’s really none of your business, Ce.” He crosses his arms as his voice drops to almost a growl.</p><p>Celine flinches. He had never talked to her in that tone, or talk to her dismissively. “I—I’m sorry James. I didn’t mean it <em>that </em>way—I know she’s a friend of yours and Winifred obviously loves her. I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Yeah, it’s not—its fine. It’s fine. Let’s just not talk about any of them.” He runs his hand on Celine’s head and places a kiss on it before leaving out the back. He needed a break to brush away whatever it was that was bothering him.</p><p>Meanwhile back in the dining area, as the dinner crowd thinned out and the food replaced with drinks and dark liquor, the restaurant’s owner approaches Steve and points to the kitchen. The blonde nods and looks at you.</p><p>“It’s time.” He tells you. Another man pulls back your chair and places your fur coat on your shoulders. You follow the man to the kitchen with Steve in tow.</p><p>As you enter the back most part, the owner dismisses any remaining staff for a break. As the area empties out, a man bloodied and obviously beaten is placed on his knees in front of you.</p><p>“This the guy, Sammy?” Steve asks the restaurateur.</p><p>“Yeah, Steve. That’s the thieving asshole.” Sam Wilson answers with disgust as he looks at the bald man on the floor. “What kind of sicko steals from a charity?”</p><p>“The kind that doesn’t deserve to breathe, Sammy.” You answer with a cigarette between your lips. Sam smirks at you as you light it up with a DuPont. The click makes the man on the floor flinch. “Ain’t that right Mr. Sitwell?”</p><p>The man continues to shake as he takes in everyone in the room. He really wasn’t expecting to get caught. His plan was supposed to be foolproof. Nobody really batted an eyelash about shelters in the inner city, especially from low income districts. However, the biggest mistake on his part was failing to check that the funding in the charity program had already ceased three years ago and was solely operating out from someone’s own pockets. Your pockets to be exact.</p><p>“Still not talking, huh?” you blow smoke into the room. “Let’s see… what did that book your Ma used to read to us say about punishing thieves again, Stevie?”</p><p>Steve picks out a cleaver from the knives on the kitchen wall. “Arabian Nights. She used to skip reading those parts but when we read it without her, it said something about cutting off the instrument of the thieving.” Steve raises the cleaver on the light and smiles at Jasper Sitwell. “Cutting off the hand that takes what ain’t theirs.”</p><p>You hum in agreement, your eyes empty except for that inextinguishable fire that perpetually lived in it. You open your palm in his direction and he places the instrument in it. “Hold him down, boys.”</p><p>“Please! No!” Baldy screams out as both men grab for him. “I didn’t know it was your money! I swear! I would have never done it if I knew it was yours, please!”</p><p>Just then the back door opens with a loud thud distracting the three of you from the groveling idiot. Bucky enters shaking off the snow from his hair only to stop in his tracks at the scene before him.</p><p>Sitwell takes the interruption as an opening for his escape, shoving Steve into a counter and swiping Sam’s leg to throw him off. He then dives towards you making you crash on the floor. As everyone recovers, Jasper pulls you to your feet with a pocket knife to your throat. Steve and Sam eye you warily as you get dragged to where Bucky just entered.</p><p>“Move you moron!” he yells at Bucky who was standing frozen. You grunt as the knife starts to cut at your skin, wincing at the coldness of the metal. “Don’t try and be a hero here.”</p><p>Bucky raises his hands to appease your assailant but the man only pushes the knife deeper into your throat.</p><p>“Buck—“you call out to him, your voice strained. He nods and you hold your breath. You push your elbow into Sitwell’s side making him retract momentarily from your body. Bucky takes that as his cue to grab the man’s wrist, flipping him and throwing him down on the tiled floor.</p><p>Bucky kneels on Jasper while Steve checks on your neck. You tell him your fine but your enforcer only seethes in anger when he sees blood run down the length of your throat.</p><p>“Here, Barnes.” Sam Wilson pulls your attacker up into a sitting position and zip ties his wrists behind his back. The next second Bucky finds himself grabbing a plastic bag and wrapping it around Sitwell’s head, bunching back the opening behind his neck until he gasps for air.</p><p>Bucky nods towards Steve to take over his place so he can check on you. When Steve tells him he got it, he leads you to sit on one of the counters. Jasper Sitwell gagging and struggling eventually fades into the background.</p><p>“I’m fine. Stop fussing, Barnes.” You swat his hand away weakly as he pulls your coat down your shoulder, checking the wound. He tuts when you continue to swat at move your neck away from him. He gives you a warning look which makes you cease movements immediately.</p><p>“Stay still.” He points a thick finger near your nose before reaching for something on the shelf above you. He places a first aid box beside you causing you to scoff. He only responds with a raised brow and you cross your arms, rolling your eyes. “You’re bleeding all over Sam’s kitchen. That’s against city health codes.”</p><p>You scoff again but say nothing as he wipes your neck and sternum with a wet towel. His hands moved with familiarity. Your breath hitches at every swipe, staring at his face, pouting while he concentrates at the task at hand. He really was annoyingly handsome whether he knew it or not.</p><p>Your appreciation of his features gets interrupted when a sharp sting on your neck erupts. You help and grip his shoulders, nails digging into his clothing.</p><p>“Sorry. It’s peroxide. I’ll—“ he blows on the slice as the chemical bubbles in your skin. The gesture makes your squirm. You press your thighs together and look up at the ceiling.</p><p>Steve and Sam pass behind Bucky, carrying a now dead Sitwell. Even as they struggle to navigate the small area, both men managed to send you teasing looks and winks. You flip both of them off with a wince.</p><p>“You’re getting sloppy.” Bucky voice brings your attention back to him as your friends disappear from sight. You look at him questioningly. “You’re allowing people to take you as bait now?”</p><p>He looks up at you then, teeth glistening as he teases you with a smile, blue eyes beautifully piercing as they bare before you. Not knowing what to answer you grab a handful of his hair and pull.</p><p>He chuckles at the gesture and goes back to fixing your neck.</p><p>“Your little girlfriend ask you to cut your hair?” you ask him as you sit on the counter more comfortably, both your palms on the surface to help you steady yourself as Bucky’s scent starts to register as your adrenaline slowly fades off.</p><p>“Yeah. She said I looked homeless, must be the reason I couldn’t get a job.” A strip of gauze is placed softly on your neck followed by tape. He presses the ends a little firmly to hold them in place. When he finishes he places his hands next to yours, effectively caving you in his arms.</p><p>“Technically, you really were homeless. I kicked you out remember?”</p><p>“Technically, I moved out. Remember?”</p><p>You hum and smile. He returns the gesture. His eyes flit from your own down to your lips. The movement so quick, you would’ve missed it if you weren’t paying attention, if you weren’t familiar with his ticks. But you were. And it makes you lick your lips, running your tongue out to wet them. Imagining, remembering how Bucky tasted. How soft, how warm. How he was yours.</p><p>You were staring. He knows.</p><p>“Buck…”</p><p>“Yeah…”</p><p>Mere whispers. Both scared if you talked any louder the moment would get interrupted. It was now Bucky’s turn to dart his tongue out and run it over his plump lips.</p><p>He was the first one to move. You stayed stock still. You wanted him to go all the way. He had to be the one to do so because he was the one who needed to remember who he belonged to.</p><p>His lips were soft and warm. Just as you remembered. A warm hand presses onto your jaw, a thumb rubbing comfortingly on your cheek. The sensation makes you moan. Then his tongue slips into the opening before taking over your whole mouth. Strokes long and heavy with need. Bucky moans making you spread your thighs apart.</p><p>The kiss continues as his hand moves behind your neck and pulls you even closer to him. His prosthetic arm has found its place on your back, moving you closer to the counter’s edge, pressing you right into his body.</p><p>The sounds your mouths made was downright erotic. Sloppy and wet as the both of you tried to re-familiarize each other. There’s wetness pooling between your legs now with every swipe of Bucky’s tongue drops reintroduces memories of how you once were.</p><p>Your plan was working, you thought to yourself. But if you continued to let him kiss you breathless it might back fire. So reluctantly, you push at his chest and pull your head away. When you finally detach, the both of you were heavily panting.</p><p>Bucky looks at your first with confusion. Then a look of realization followed by what it looked to be guilt.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have.” He steps back and wipes his mouth. “I—I wasn’t—“</p><p>“Bucky, no. It’s okay. I’m the one who should be apologizing.” You shake your head. You needed to choose your words wisely.</p><p>Bucky’s expression looked like he was trying hard to processes everything as quickly as he could.</p><p>“I kissed you. That was—“ he runs both hands through his hair and steps back even further.</p><p>“—the adrenaline. You were high off it from taking down Sitwell. It’s okay, really.” You hop of the counter and fix yourself. “We’re done, I get it. This was an accident.”</p><p>“It was?” he clarifies your statement. You nod at him, flashing him a sad smile.</p><p>“It didn’t even happen. Trust me. You told me you were done with me and I believe you. You love someone else now. Like I said, I get it. Thank you for helping me out earlier.” You approach him and caress his face. Yes, feel guilt, you thought again before leaving the kitchen.</p><p>An hour later after Sam had ordered the restaurant to close earlier than usual, ending everyone’s shift abruptly, just as Bucky steps outside into the alley behind the restaurant with his new boo’s hand in his, Steve calls out to him.</p><p>Bucky tells Celine to go ahead and wait for him at the corner to talk to Steve. When she disappears, Bucky feels his nerves start to fry. Did Steve know about the incident earlier? Did you tell him? What if you ordered Steve to drag him back to you? Bucky shakes the thought out and approaches the man.</p><p>“Here.” Steve places a heavy manila envelope in his palm. He looks at him questioningly and the blonde laughs. “A little something for helping out earlier back there. I know Sam pays fair wage but I doubt he pays that good. Take care of yourself, Barnes!”</p><p>With that Steve pats him on the back and walks to the other end of the alley. Bucky opens the envelope and finds at least thirty thousand in it. His jaw drops at the cash in his palm. When he regains composure he catches up to where Celine was waiting for him.</p><p>Steve gets inside the driver seat of a parked SUV down the street.</p><p>“Did he accept it?”</p><p>“He did. He seemed happily on edge.” Steve starts the car and drives off. You hum, smiling as you lean on the car window. “<em>You </em>seem happier. Did something happen back in Sam’s kitchen?”</p><p>You hum again. He knew you too well.</p><p>“Things are coming together, the club will be whole again. I can feel it.”</p><p>Steve smirks at you teasingly. You can’t help but return the smile fully. You swat his arm and tell him to drive faster.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Bucky is confused about his feelings. You say something you don't hear.</p><p>Warnings: smut, choking during sex, bloody wounds</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Can these two idiots just make up already? Last chapter before the finale!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He’s staring. He knows.</p><p>“You’re staring, doofus.” Rebecca hits him behind the head, annoyed at how much of a dork her brother was. One day Bucky comes home, doesn’t leave his room for three days, and then when she and their mom finally catch him eating left over mac and cheese, they make him confess what was going on with him.</p><p><em>I broke up with her. </em>That’s what he said. To which both her and her mother cackled in disbelief. Bucky was the happiest they’d seen in the past year since he dated you, a rags to riches Brooklyn kid who bounced from one foster house to another. They only stopped laughing when they saw Bucky on the verge of tears. After that, neither woman pushed answers from him, allowing him to move on in his own pace.</p><p>But as Becca carries a tray of sandwiches to the front table where her brother was arranging food packs, she couldn’t help but feel bad for her older brother who was longingly looking at his ex from a distance. She didn’t know the story behind the breakup but she was pretty sure neither of you were over each other.</p><p>“I wasn’t. I was looking at something… over there! And y’know she just happened—“Bucky stutters, getting caught by his own sister was embarrassing. “—to be in the same visual space…”</p><p>Becca hums condescendingly, scoffing at the poor attempt of a cover up. Her brother was a walking paradox of personalities; he may have been good looking but the heavens didn’t bless him much with brains. Bucky was smooth and suave when he wanted to be but never when he needed to be. She looks at him, pretending to be busy with the table’s contents, pretending not to be affected by you talking to some random guy who only started appearing at the shelter on Sundays after you did.</p><p>“Be honest, Jimmy. Why’d you guys split up?” she exhales and asks him finally. Her brother stops moving, clearly surprised by the question.</p><p>“It’s a long story, Becs…”</p><p>“Well, we have about two hundred packs to make this morning. I think it’ll help pass the time.” She smiles at him, one with empathy. She knew it must have been something big if her brother, who constantly wore his heart on his damn sleeve, regrettably called it off. “So, how ‘bout it?”</p><p>Bucky tells his sister everything. Well, almost everything. Of course he left out the part about how you actually met under a death threat, your occupation, the period of his life where he killed people for you, the various mindblowing sexcapades. But he told Becca about how the relationship seemed to be one-sided, how you were the one in control of the narrative and how he felt like a puppet strung along with whatever decision you made.</p><p>“But you went along with everything because you love her?” Bucky nods at the question and chuckles bitterly. He then reveals that he had asked you if you loved him and your failure to answer had been the final blow to his fragile heart.</p><p>“Pfft! You mean your fragile <em>ego</em>?” Becca smacks his arm this time. “You ask her if she loved you out of anger and you expected her to answer you? You really are dumb, Jimmy.”</p><p>“We’ve been together for almost two years, she should have had an answer prepared!” Bucky raises his voice, suddenly worked up.</p><p>“James Barnes, she didn’t grow up with people who told her they loved her. She didn’t grow up in an environment that allowed her to verbally express her love or appreciation. She might not have told you those words but I’m sure she showed you right?” Becca points a long finger at her brother’s nose. Bucky swallows and nods, you showed him everyday. There was love in everything you did for him. In the big things, in the little things.</p><p>There was love in the morning when he woke up to you whispering at him to wake up with a mug of coffee in hand. There was love when you let him sit in meetings he had no business knowing. There was love when you beat someone to a bloody pulp after you found out they refused to take orders from him. He was yours, you had told him, but more importantly, you were his.</p><p>You didn’t need to tell him you loved him because whether he liked it or not, he could feel your love for him. The way you trusted him with your vulnerability, your barest form that no one else had access to.</p><p>“I can see the tiny cogs in your tiny brain turnin’ and processin’ everything.” Rebecca laughs mirthfully. She pitied her brother who sometimes depended on the literality of things rather than what they symbolized.</p><p>Bucky shakes his head. “It’s too late now, Becs. I’m seein’ Celine now, remember?” he waves his hand to dismiss what they’ve just been talking about.</p><p>“Oh, please James! That little pretentious harlot can barely keep her story together.”</p><p>“Rebecca Barnes! Watch your mouth!”</p><p>“Who gives a fuck if she hears? All I’m saying is, your “Celine” may look the part of a sweet, local waitress but I know a fake ass bitch when I see one.” Becca grabs a bottle of water from the table and passes her brother with a shove. She then approaches you and offers the water.</p><p>You thank her earnestly and hug her. Tucking her to your side as you introduce her to whoever it was you were talking to. Becca looks back over her shoulder and flips her brother off.</p><p>Bucky’s staring again with his mouth slightly ajar.</p><p>You look back at him when you notice Becca’s hand behind her. She giggles and apologizes but you brush it off and wave at Bucky with a full smile. Something in his stomach flips at the gesture. Then his mind reels back into the kiss from earlier that week.</p><p>To say that Bucky Barnes has ruined you for other men would be an understatement.</p><p>You haven’t had anyone in your bed since he left. You haven’t had anyone at all. It was disgusting being in this state of mind. You’ve kept pets before but none of them bothered you like this. None whose opinions of you mattered to even be remembered. And then Bucky fuckin’ Barnes accidentally falls into your lap and everything had gone to shit.</p><p>“Tell me I’m fuckin’ crazy Steve and I’ll stop right this instant.” You sigh as you nurse a glass of dark liquor at two in the afternoon on a Monday. “Tell me that this is all a waste of money and that I’m batshit fuckin’ loose in the old melon here.”</p><p>Steve shakes his head, eyes focused on the folder in his hands. “Not a chance, Boss. Your numbers have been up ever since you took this little project of yours.” He was smirking again, the bastard. “Might even win a hand at being the new city mayor.”</p><p>You grab the nearest thing to you—an old desk lamp, vintage, might have been a gift from the Bonanno Family—and throw it right next to his head. The thing shatters but your capo doesn’t even flinch, used to your little outbursts by now. You tell him to shut the fuck up and down your drink.</p><p>“You done? Good.” Steve stands and extends a hand to you. “Clint mentioned that you wanted to hire your competition as a server at the bar—“</p><p>“She’s not my competition.”</p><p>“—what is she then?”</p><p>“A speck.” You raise a brow and pour yourself another glass to make Steve more tolerable today.</p><p>“A speck?”</p><p>“Of dust!” You scoff and take a sip of the liquor, savoring the soft burn down your throat. “I’m keepin’ an eye on her, Becca mentioned somethin’ or another about her being iffy.”</p><p>This time it’s Steve’s turn to scoff.</p><p>---</p><p>His head had been full of thoughts as of late. Being in this predicament was stressful to say the least. You were being unpredictable. He grunts, no, you’ve always been unpredictable. You were always shoot first, ask questions later then let someone else clean up the mess you made. That’s how you were. So why did it bother him so much.</p><p>Bucky is balls deep in someone right at this instant. His body was craving something that he kept pushing down for the past months. He wasn’t celibate since he left you, not at all. But there was always something missing, something did not seem quite right.</p><p>His hips thrust harder, skin slapping on skin in the dimness of a bedroom in the late afternoon. He grunts as he squeezes his eyes shut, images of you beneath him playing in his mind. Your face is sweaty and sticky with him, mouth ajar from the pleasure only he could provide, pupils blown wide with every slide of his cock into your delicious cunt.</p><p>He removes the hand near your head before another thrust only to use it as an anchor beneath your thighs to raise them higher, spreading you wider for him. The access lets him take you deeper and you writhe shaking your head as moans are pulled from within you.</p><p>“Yes, that’s it baby. Lemme hear you—“ he urges you on as his thrusts grow wilder, less reserved.</p><p>He crawls his metal arm up your body until it finds the underside of your jaw. Bucky grips the side of your neck, enough pressure that he knows drives you insane with the possibility of having your air cut off. Your cunt constricts him as he slides wetly, feeling himself also the verge of spilling.</p><p>
  <em>Bucky, give it to me. Fill me up.</em>
</p><p>Your voice croaks in pleasure at the punishing pace and it’s enough to tip him over.</p><p>“James—James, stop—I—“the women beneath him rasps but he doesn’t hear it. He’s gone over the edge, cum spilling into the cunt he was in.</p><p>When his release finally ends, he opens his eyes and sees the wrong color looking up at him in something akin to horror. He retracts his and pulls himself out while she gasps for air.</p><p>“Celine, I—I’m sorry. I didn’t—“ he tries to reach out to her but she swipes his hand away. Her neck was red already and was surely going to be marked.</p><p>“Get out!” she pushes him off the bed, throat sore from what had just occurred. They had never done anything like this because she didn’t like it. Shame and guilt fills Bucky’s head as he picks up his clothing from the room. “Get the fuck out! Now!”</p><p>He leaves her apartment with a head messier than when he had entered it earlier. It was not his intention to lose control over her in that manner. He was always gentle with her, a constant reminder that Celine was not you, that she did not like the things you had, or the things you taught Bucky.</p><p>He was too deep in his own head that he didn’t even realize he had walked all the way home already. He’d call her later to apologize. For now, he’d give her some space while he sorts out his own thoughts and the person who was the cause of it.</p><p>As soon as he opens the front door the smell of food permeates his nostrils. The house was warm and there was laughter coming from the kitchen. He shucks his coat off and yells that he was home before stalking the area where he knew his mom and sister were probably bickering about recipes. He wasn’t expecting you there though.</p><p>More importantly, he wasn’t expecting you to be wearing an apron and stirring something in his mother’s pot. He wasn’t expecting you in his kitchen laughing along with his sister, throwing your head back in glee over something he didn’t hear. He wasn’t expecting his heart to skip a beat when you look at him with sauce in your cheek, eyes watering from laughing too much looking like a wet dream version of a wife he had always wanted.</p><p>“Eww, gross. Why do you look like that?” his sister’s voice snaps him out of his reverie. “Go take a shower if you want to be invited to dinner.”</p><p>He flips Rebecca off before his eyes flit back to you. You were trying the sauce by dipping your pinky finger into the ladle before licking it off to taste. The sound it made goes straight to Bucky’s cock and he thanks his sister for the suggestion of a shower.</p><p>Twenty minutes later he emerges back downstairs to be greeted by the women in his life. Dinner had started without him and the only seat available was next to yours. He tucks himself in and you pass him the food while his mother and sister discuss about something the younger one heard from a neighbor about cops barging in to houses without a warrant.</p><p>“I’m sorry I’m here. Winnie said you’d be out with your…” his finger brushes yours as he accepts the bowl and there’s an undeniable spark there still, “…girlfriend.” You clear your throat and return your attention to your own plate. Fuck. You had to keep it together. You could not act rash not when you were so close.</p><p>But it was proving to be harder than expected when you had a freshly showered Bucky right next to you with that stupid smirk on his face as he listens to his family adorably bicker about neighborly things. God you wanted to lick his face.</p><p>“Nah, apologize after when your cooking kills me.” He winks at you and you could almost see the heat traverse south your body. You pinch his side and he yelps while you huff in annoyance. He digs in and hums in approval of the food.</p><p>The food, the wine, and the conversations flow seemingly endless. Topics jump from one to another seamlessly and you were currently arguing with Bucky which baseball team truly represented New York—the Mets or the Yankees. Neither Barnes across the table interrupting, only knowing glances exchanged as you bicker and enumerate every baseball player either of you knew.</p><p>Neither of you noticed that the space between your chair and his had all but dissipated. It must have been the wine in Bucky’s system that caused sometime along the dinner that he basically anchored your leg over his lap and his hand was resting, rubbing small soothing circles inside your thigh. There was a sense of calm having you around him, an ease from knowing that you knew all the bad things he had inside and yet you weren’t afraid of him or thought of him less.</p><p>Another one-liner escapes his sister’s lips that has the whole table laughing uninhibitedly. The hand on your thigh gives you a squeeze and that was when you knew that everything was in place. You tuck Bucky’s hair behind his ear and excuse yourself for the restroom, promising to help out with the cleaning.</p><p>“I think she drank too much. Go check on her will you?” Winnie tells her son after ten minutes and you still haven’t returned downstairs. Bucky finishes his pie and tosses his napkin on the table before heading to where you were.</p><p>Two knocks on the door, “Doll? You okay?” he asks when he hears a muted shuffle from the other side of the door. Another knock.</p><p>“I’m fine! Just too much wine, I think.” You tell him with a wince. This wasn’t part of the plan. Why the hell did you get stabbed prior to this dinner? Maybe Steve was right when he suggested you cancel. You accidentally knock a bottle off the counter causing it to rattle on the tiled floor.</p><p>Bucky on the other side of the door hears your muttered swearing and looks for the bathroom key. When he unlocks the door, the sight before him was nearly comical if you weren’t covered in your own blood.</p><p>“So this is what you were up to?” he tuts before shutting the door behind him. “You can’t fool me with thinking that you got drunk with wine, doll.”</p><p>“I’m fine. It just opened up a bit because I was laughing too hard.” You brush him off as he helps you on your feet. You sway a bit and he catches you. “I’ll just double up the gauze and I’ll be good as new.”</p><p>“No, you won’t. You need rest. Here—“ Bucky swipes your legs from under you and carries you to his bedroom. Gently he places you on the bed, sighing at your situation. You’d always been good at keeping your pain at bay but he kind of hates himself for not noticing you were injured. When you start moving only to groan out in pain, he tuts again. “Stay put. I’ll fix you up.”</p><p>“I should just get home. Have Steve pick me up—“</p><p>“I wasn’t askin’, doll. I’m tellin’ ya. Stay put. I’ll be right back.”</p><p>You nod in resolution. The pain was becoming almost unbearable. The wine must have drowned the effects of the pain meds you took earlier and now your body hurt again.</p><p>A small smile creeps on your face as you take in Bucky’s actions. This was exactly how he wanted you but couldn’t give him before. He wanted you to need him in every single way. Funny how much of your pride had been forgotten the moment you realized that he may never come back on his own. Getting stabbed was ideal but hey, at least the desired outcome was coming through the same.</p><p>Bucky comes back with a first aid kit and a glass of water and sets them down beside you. He hands you a couple of pills with the water and nods for you to take them.</p><p>“Drink those. I’ll clean you up then you can rest.” He instructs and you eye him warily. There was a hint of teasing in his eyes, he knew you didn’t like to be ordered. You swallow the pills and set the glass on the nightstand. Bucky hovers over you, reaching for your dress’s zipper. You grunt when he pulls the dress off, parts of it already sticking to your skin.</p><p>Gentle fingers clean your bloodied skin and both of you sit in silence. Bucky was now sitting on the floor as he examined the damage you had on. He always looked cute when he was concentrating, nose scrunched up as he focused on the task at hand.</p><p>“What did you tell your mom?” you break the silence first.</p><p>“Told her you were drunk off your ass. And that you were exhausted from work.” He looks up just as he attaches the last butterfly strip. You hum and stare down at him. He smiles and reaches for the clean gauze and tape.</p><p>“You’re being way too reckless now. Don’t tell me you lost your edge?”</p><p>You exhale through your nose. Looking around his room, finding little trinkets everywhere. Traces of him from when he was younger. Innocent.</p><p>“Well, I didn’t have much sense of self-preservation when you met me. I only stayed out of trouble because you nagged me to death when I came home with stitches.”</p><p>He grins and chuckles.</p><p>“I don’t <em>nag</em>! I was just telling you with a lot of conviction of the ways to take care of yourself. But I never nagged.”</p><p>“Mmhmm.”</p><p>“Shut up.” He pinches your thigh and you help before wincing. He secures his work a bandage rolled out over your lower abdomen. When he’s done he helps you move up on the bed. “Lie down and rest. I’ll call Steve to have you picked up tomorrow. Can’t have you walking this streets injured.”</p><p>“Ooh, you afraid someone’ll whack me while I’m weak?” you tease him but he only scowls at you. You chuckle weakly at the bad joke but listen to him anyway. The pills were working already, you were feeling better. Sleepy.</p><p>You were almost asleep when you feel him fussing beside you. You peek one eye open and find him arranging things on the floor. You sit up weakly and call out to him.</p><p>“Buck. Just take the bed. Tell Steve to come get me now.” You grunt as you feel a pull. Man those pills were strong. You extend a hand to reach for him. Big warm hands envelope yours and you feel the bed dip.</p><p>“You’re not going anywhere until morning.” He tells you when he sees you try to fight the medication. “Fine, I’ll stay on the bed. But no funny business!”</p><p>You chuckle weakly again and you hear him respond in kind. He shuffles beside you again until you feel the blanket envelope you with him right next to your body.</p><p>Bucky lies down on his side as he observes your face. As your breath evens out, only then does he dare to touch you. A thumb runs over your lips as he lets his tongue freely over his own. He was tempted to lay one on you especially when you looked like an angel right before him.</p><p>His staring gets interrupted when you move closer to him, seeking his body heat in your sleep. He lets you grab him and tuck yourself in his arms.</p><p>“I love you, Buck…” you murmur when you finally stop moving. “…don’t go.”</p><p>His breath hitches and he holds it in. He gives himself reprieve just this once. He knows that you didn’t know what you were saying but he couldn’t help but answer back.</p><p>“I love you, doll. Sleep, now.”</p>
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